


It's the little things (that you miss the most when they're gone)

by Soralith



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst and Tragedy, Colors, Fics Sora wrote for Friends, For Lambo, Haikyuu!! Manga Spoilers, Hinata Shouyou is Sunshine, It's mostly fluff I promise, M/M, Married Couple, Married Life, POV Kozume Kenma, Post-Time Skip, Romantic Soulmates, Soulmate AU, i didn't want to crush lammy's soul too much, kenhina - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-11
Updated: 2021-03-11
Packaged: 2021-03-18 00:41:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,452
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29974764
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Soralith/pseuds/Soralith
Summary: At 26, Kenma's life is good.He has a flourishing career, an apartment, the most adorable cat, and an amazing husband.Life was good.
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou/Kozume Kenma
Comments: 8
Kudos: 25





	It's the little things (that you miss the most when they're gone)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Lampoopy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lampoopy/gifts).



> First thing's first: HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY LAMMYYYY!!  
> I'm so sorry this is so late ;-; Forgive? 
> 
> I hope you enjoy this fic!! I've wanted to write this AU for a long time, so I'm glad I finally had a reason to write it!!

“Ohayo, Kenma! It’s time to get up!”

“Just a few more mins, Sho…” Kenma mumbled, pulling on their navy blue comforter and burying his face in the dark material. 

“Ohayo, Kenma! It’s time to get up!” 

Kenma groaned softly as Shoyo’s voice parroted the sentence in the same chirpy tone. “C’mon, Sho… 5 more minutes…”

“Ohayo, Kenma! It’s time to get up!” 

Finally catching on to why Shoyo was repeating himself, Kenma reached out towards his nightstand, fumbling around for his phone. As soon as he felt the smooth glass under his fingertips, Kenma tapped insistently, letting out a sigh of relief as the alarm cut off mid sentence and left the room in a blissful silence. 

“Stupid alarm…” he grumbled, blinking blearily in the bright, golden sunshine that filled their shared bedroom. 

Kenma rolled over to his other side, a pout growing on his face as he spotted Shoyo’s achingly empty side of the bed. The cheerful birdsong outside the window did little to improve Kenma’s mood as he groaned and pulled himself up into a sitting position. 

He’d set the alarm before he’d slept the night before, just in the case he didn’t wake up before Shoyo left for volleyball practice. And although setting the alarm to be a recording of Shoyo’s bubbly voice had _seemed_ like a good idea at the time, now that he’d woken up to it, it only made him miss Shoyo all the more. 

Kenma scowled as he rubbed at his eyes. Clearly Shoyo had already left, given that it was nearly 11:30 am. He let out an exasperated sigh before reaching for his phone. A series of texts popped up as he tapped the screen awake, which began to clear away the gloomy clouds that had settled around Kenma’s heart. 

It was just like Shoyo to leave him messages to wake up to, Kenma noted fondly. He quickly pressed the icon to open the text, feeling a smile begin to quirk onto his lips as his eyes scanned the message.

_Good morning, sleepyhead! You were up super late streaming, weren’t you?_

Kenma’s golden eyes softened and crinkled slightly at the corners as he continued scrolling through Shoyo’s messages. 

_Thought you could use the sleep, so I let you be. And since you have that minecraft stream today, you probably set an alarm. I’ll call you around noon though, just in case._

Kenma glanced over at his bedside clock, noting that he had about half an hour before Shoyo’s call. At least that was something to make up for the lack of cuddles upon waking up. 

_Make sure you eat before you stream! If I come home, and those onigiri I got from Miya-san’s shop aren’t eaten, I’m going to be mad!_

_I did get up early today though, and went for a run. So your favorite apple tarts from the bakery down the street are in the kitchen. BUT EAT THE ONIGIRI FIRST!!!_

Kenma snorted. Shoyo knew him far too well. 

_I’ll call you at noon, okay? Love you lots._

Kenma tapped out a reply, bidding his husband a good morning and that he was awaiting his call, before finally swinging his legs around and pulling himself out of bed. He stretched as he padded out of their bedroom and into the en suite bathroom, yawning widely as he flipped on the light and peered into the large wall mirror. 

Mm… his dark circles were rather prominent today, the skin under his eyes a deeper shade of purple than they normally were. Probably because of his late night, Kenma mused with a soft sigh– he’d need to grab the concealer from Shoyo’s drawer before he streamed later. 

It was lucky that they kept some on hand for those nights when Kenma was a _little_ too eager with his kisses; Shoyo couldn't quite go into games with bruises covering his neck, after all.

Kenma frowned slightly as he tilted his head, examining his reflection in the mirror. He could probably do with redying his roots, Kenma noted, twisting a blond strand of hair around his index finger. His natural hair had grown out a little too much for Kenma’s liking, and he was overdue for a trim. 

Shoyo _did_ like his hair to be on the longer side, though, since he liked playing with it, Kenma pondered thoughtfully. Whenever the two were sitting in close proximity to each other, Shoyo’s hands would inevitably be found twisted within the blond locks, fingers fiddling with them absently. 

Well, as long as Kenma wasn’t playing with Shoyo’s hair first. 

Kenma yawned again as he reached for his favorite red scrunchie and tied his hair up into a messy bun. Whatever he decided, he knew he had to talk to Shoyo before he did anything to his hair– it was his husband who loved to play with it, after all. 

He brushed his teeth and scrubbed his face, feeling the last of the sleepiness leave him as he splashed cool water over his skin. As he patted his face dry, a new notification brightened his phone’s screen, catching Kenma’s attention. 

_Hey Kenma! You’re awake! :D I’m actually gonna be home early today– there’s apparently some construction work that’s being done at the gym in the afternoon. So I’ll be home before 3!_

Kenma smiled, an excited flutter rushing through his chest at the thought of having Shoyo home so soon.  
  
Shoyo wasn’t often home in the early afternoons, since his volleyball practices would normally end in the early evening. It was why Kenma was scheduled to stream at that time– it left evenings free for Kenma to focus all of his attention on his husband. 

Last night had been a special case, with Kodzuken collabing with a streamer from the US. Kenma had agreed to the uncharacteristically late night stream, as the other streamer had been a high profile name in the Western world’s gaming community. His fans, affectionately called his “kitties”, had been surprised at the announcement, especially since Kenma had made it clear from day one that his mornings and evenings were reserved for Shoyo. 

“I’ve got a husband to be with after I stream. So don’t expect me to respond to tweets in the evening,” Kenma had said at his first stream with a smirk. “I’ll be too busy to respond.” 

The absolute chaos his words had caused had _definitely_ been worth it, even if both Kenma and Shoyo had been shoved under the spotlight for _weeks_ afterwards. 

Kenma gave a small laugh as he thought back to the time following his first stream: Shoyo had been absolutely mortified when a few fans recognized him from Kenma’s stream at a local convenience store. It wasn’t until Shoyo had returned home 15 minutes later, brown eyes glazed and bearing a bag of their favorite ice cream and snacks that Kenma had found out just _how_ enamoured his fans were with his husband.

“You okay, Sho? Did something happen?” Kenma queried, a flash of concern crossing his face as he made his way into their kitchen.

Shoyo’s hands froze from where they’d been putting the ice cream into their freezer. Slowly, he closed the door, before turning around and giving Kenma full view of his bright red cheeks. “Ken… your… your _fans_ begged me to take a photo with ‘Kodzuken’s ridiculously hot husband’.”

Kenma’s loud snort covered Shoyo’s mortified groan as he buried his face into his hands. “I’m never going back out in public.”  
  
“But then you’d never be able to play volleyball anymore. And,” Kenma continued, an impish smirk growing on his face as his voice dropped down an octave. “You wouldn’t be able to give me those good luck kisses between sets.” 

“I hate you.”  
  
Kenma laughed, eyes sparkling as he wrapped his arms around Shoyo’s sturdy chest. “You love me.” 

“Shut up.” 

-

Kenma’s lips quirked up as the memories filled his mind, a feeling of warmth blossoming within him. With his heart feeling lighter than it had all morning, Kenma set down his towel and tapped out a response. 

_Sounds good. I’ll be waiting for you then~_

Kenma closed the messaging app, and was about to turn off his phone when his wallpaper caught his eye. He paused, his smile widening as he examined the picture more closely: the picture had been taken in Brazil the year before, when he and Shoyo had gone for a short vacation. They’d met up with Shoyo’s former roommate for a day, before heading off to the beach to spend a few days relaxing in the sand.  
  
At least, Kenma had been relaxing, while Shoyo had sought out challengers to play beach volleyball against. And while his husband had run around in the sand, shouting in both Portugese and Japanese alike, Kenma had simply enjoyed the view. 

In more ways than one. 

The picture had been taken on their last day, with Kenma and Shoyo standing in front of a gorgeous sunset. The Atlantic Ocean was painted in captivating hues of orange and yellow behind them, with Shoyo’s hair contrasting brightly against the more muted colors of the sky behind them. It was Kenma’s favorite photo from the trip, and he’d immediately made it his phone’s wallpaper, knowing it would never fail to boost his mood.

Kenma gazed down at the picture for a few moments longer, before finally prying his gaze away and setting his phone back down on the counter. His contented smile remained on his face as he went through the rest of his morning routine, of which only took another few minutes. Kenma finished by pulling the scrunchie out of his hair and shaking his head to let his hair settle just above his shoulders. 

He hummed out a tune from the game he’d been playing last night as he exited the bathroom, flicking off the light as he went. As he passed their bedroom window, he stopped momentarily to relish in the carpeted patch of sunlight their calico cat, Hoshi, was currently lying in. 

An embarrassed flush crossed his face as he realized what he was doing. If Shoyo had seen him, he definitely would’ve teased him, Kenma mused with a small laugh– his husband never seemed to tire of teasing Kenma for acting like his high school mascot. 

Shaking his head fondly, Kenma padded his way over to their dresser and selected one of Shoyo’s MSBY hoodies to slip over his head. He’d always preferred to wear his husband’s hoodies over his own when he streamed, due to the warm comfort they brought. Kenma let out a soft sigh as Shoyo’s familiar scent filled his nose, burying his face momentarily in the yellow striped fabric. 

It wasn’t anywhere near as good as having Shoyo hug him, but it _was_ a pretty decent second best, he supposed. 

Kenma’s soft humming continued as he exited their bedroom and made his way down the hall into the kitchen. He made a beeline for the plate he spotted on the counter, covered to keep one greedy cat out of the food. Kenma’s eyes lit up as he lifted the cover to see the promised pastry nestled neatly beside two salmon onigiri. 

“Thank you, Sho~” Kenma murmured, re-covering the plate with a small smile before reaching up to grab a can of cat food and Hoshi’s bowl from their cupboards. He ripped the can open, wrinkling his nose at the fishy smell that wafted up and overpowered the delicate scent of the apple tart. 

Hoshi, having recognized the sound, shot out of their bedroom and was around Kenma’s ankles in a flash, purring her delight. Kenma smiled as he reached down to pet her, before scooping out the food and placing the bowl down onto the floor. 

Leaving Hoshi to eat, Kenma plucked up his own plate and headed out to their living room, pausing briefly to grab a can of his favorite iced coffee from the fridge as he went. 

A familiar ringtone rang out from Kenma’s phone as he set the plate down on his desk, pulling another smile out onto the streamer’s face. He reached out to turn on his monitor with one hand as he eagerly accepted the call with the other, setting it on speakerphone as the screen came to life. “Hey, Sho.”

“Kenma! Good morning!”  
  
His heart fluttered as Shoyo’s voice came brightly over the phone, making him marvel at the way it still had the same effect on him after all these years. The corners of Kenma’s eyes crinkled as he sat down in front of his computer and turned it on, responding in his more sedate way. “Yes, good morning. Are you on lunch break now?”

“Yup! I just finished eating. Meian-san only gave us just half an hour today though, since we’re finishing early. Are you eating?” 

“I am, I am, don’t worry. Thank you for going to the bakery, though I’m kinda sad I didn’t get to say goodbye this morning.” 

Shoyo laughed, the bright sound filling Kenma with a fuzzy, soothing warmth that washed through his entire body. “I’ll be back soon, Ken. You can wait a few hours for me to hug you, can’t you?” 

Kenma scrunched his nose as he tapped in his computer’s password. “But I wanted cuddles earlier,” he pouted, dragging out his voice in a small whine. “My mornings aren’t anywhere near as good when you’re not there.” 

“Alright, alright. I’ll give you snuggles when I come home later, okay?”

“Promise?”

Shoyo chuckled at the hopeful tone in Kenma’s voice. “Promise. Don’t worry, Ken, I’ll be home before– yes? Oh! Yeah, I’ll be right there!” 

“Sho?” Kenma queried, pausing from where he’d been setting up his stream. 

“Ah…” Shoyo replied, his voice now carrying a sheepish quality to it. “I forgot I promised to work with Atsumu-san today on a new quick before practice started. I have to go, sorry Ken.”

Kenma pursed his lips, a flash of disappointment rushing through him. “Alright, I guess.” He couldn’t quite keep the pout of his voice as he responded, which made Shoyo laugh again. 

“Don’t be too sad~” he teased gently. “I promise I’ll call you as soon as I’m out, okay? And I’ll be home in 3 hours anyways.”

“...Fine.” 

“Silly kitty,” Shoyo teased, making an involuntary blush brighten Kenma’s cheeks. “I’ll talk to you later, okay? Love you, Kenma.” 

In spite of his mild disappointment, a tiny smile made its way across Kenma’s lips as he responded. “Love you too, Shoyo.”

The call clicked off, making Kenma sigh softly as he leaned back against his chair. 3 more hours until his husband came home, and gave him those cuddles he’d been promised. 

At least he’d be busy streaming, instead of just moping around waiting for Shoyo to come back home. 

“Mrow?”  
  
Kenma glanced down to see Hoshi peering up at him through large green eyes. She blinked slowly, before rubbing her head on Kenma’s leg affectionately. 

Kenma’s eyes softened, and he rearranged himself into a cross-legged position, before patting his lap. “Come here, Hoshi.” 

Hoshi obliged, hopping up with practiced ease and settling herself in Kenma’s lap comfortably. Her soft fur, similar to the orange locks he so loved playing with, and rumbling purr soothed his melancholy mood, and he found a small smile gracing his lips as he refocused on his computer screen. 

“Alright then, Hoshi. Let’s do a stream, shall we?”

\----

“How on earth do you manage to die from a cactus?” Kenma snorted, rolling his eyes as the other Minecraft streamer spluttered indignantly.  
  
“Chicken, that stupid horse, pushed me into it! And I got trapped in the block and I couldn’t leave!” 

Kenma laughed, a smirk growing on his face as he glanced over at his chat to see the flurry of laughing cat emojis flooding his screen. “I thought you were ‘pro Minecraft streamer’?” Kenma teased, switching to the other streamer’s native language of English. 

“Oh shut up, Kodzuken,” came his huffy reply, the muttered Japanese making Kenma laugh all the harder. 

“Hai, hai,” Kenma returned fondly. “You’re just mad that I’m better at Minecraft than you are.” 

“You suck.”

“You wish.” 

Kenma’s chat flew into chaos, the colorful emotes and messages flying too quickly for him to read. He bit back another laugh as the other streamer muttered that he’d “be right back” and disconnected from their voice call. 

“Perhaps I was… a little mean,” Kenma chuckled, resuming his trek back to their base. “Though I did tell him that that horse would be the death of him someday.” 

Knowing it would be a few minutes before the other streamer returned, Kenma cheerfully took the time to surround the spot he knew the other male had disconnected in with obsidian blocks. 

“...And that’s that. Let’s get away now, so Akira doesn’t come murder me as soon as he breaks himself out of… out of…” Kenma trailed off as the deep purple blocks suddenly faded into a dull grey. 

What had just happened?

Where had the color gone?

Kenma blinked once, then twice. He rubbed his eyes, disbelief coursing through his body as he stared incredulously at the screen. 

“Uh, okay, so my computer might be–” Kenma broke off as he pulled his gaze away from the screen, only to see the same grey shades dominating the very real world around him. 

Their dark blue curtains, chosen for their light blocking capabilities, were now a dark shade of grey contrasting against a lighter grey of the formerly blue sky outside the window. Their decorations, from the bright medals and trophies lining their shelves to the family photos on their walls, were the same, unsettling in their monochrome palette.

Even Hoshi, who’d remained lounging on Kenma’s lap throughout the stream, had lost her vibrant coloring. Kenma could hardly tell the difference now, between the orange and brown patches he knew had covered her fur. 

Kenma stared down at her for a few long moments, before he slowly reached up to his desk and shut off his stream. He was silent as his chat flooded with messages of concern and worry over his sudden disappearance, the normally colorful cat emojis appearing in the same toneless color scheme. 

An awful, sinking feeling took root in his heart, painful in a way Kenma had never known pain before. 

Because he knew. 

He knew why his world had gone black and white. 

Because Kenma could still remember the first time his world had grown vibrant. He could remember the day his life had gone from mundane to bursting with color and life. 

He could remember the day he’d met his soulmate, and the shockingly bright orange hair that had been his first experience with color. 

…

Kenma knew. 

Even if he didn't want to believe it.

After all, it was what every person had warned him against, whenever he’d revealed he could see color. 

He’d lost count of the number of people who’d told him stories of how losing that vibrance had driven some to follow their soulmates. How they’d been unable to survive without the color, without the other halves of their hearts. 

Without their souls. 

It had been the reason his mother had regarded Shoyo with such suspicion at first, terrified that her only son would lose it all in the blink of an eye, especially since they were both young. 

And now… Kenma had. 

The sound of his phone blaring out its generic ringtone startled Kenma from his thoughts, making him accidentally drop Hoshi from his lap. She threw both him and his phone a dirty look, letting out a dissatisfied meow as she stalked off to the quiet of their bedroom. 

With Hoshi gone, Kenma glanced at the phone, noting rather numbly that it was an unknown number. He watched as the screen flashed, desperately trying to gain his attention, before he finally accepted the call on its final ring. 

“...Hello?”

“Is this Kozume Shoyo’s husband?” 

Kenma swallowed. “It– it is.” 

“I’m calling from Osaka Central Hospital. I’m afraid your husband has–” 

“I’ll be there soon.” A stab of guilt flared momentarily as he cut her off and ended the call in a single motion, though any remorse soon faded as the heavy weight settled itself fully within his chest. 

...he was gone.

Kenma picked up his phone, pausing briefly to stare at the now dull wallpaper. Hot tears pooled in his eyes and blurred his grey world into a shapeless lump as he pressed on a contact. 

The phone rang once, twice, then three times, before the call was finally picked up.

“Hey, Kenma. It's been a whi–”

“Kuro.”

“.....What is it?”

“I… Kuro…” 

“ _I can't see.”_

**Author's Note:**

> (Before you ask, yes. Lammy specifically asked for angst as her birthday present. I know. She's weird.)  
> (I hope this at least partially met your expectations Lammy ;-;)


End file.
